I Knew It Was Going To Be Bad When....

I didn't want to put my pants on. Yes, you read correctly. After having cellulitis on my right calf, and still in recovery from it, even material hurts resting on top of your leg. Sue (Coffee Slut) and I were on the phone joking that I had to put my pants on in order to go out to dinner with my hubby. I don't think the restaurant owners would have liked me going into their establishment without any pants on and since it was 20 degrees out, I felt the urge to 'bite the bullet' and put them on.

Second reason I knew it was going to be bad was because the waitress that we had at the restaurant was the same one who we had last time. She is just a bizarre person. Last time we got to the place around 7:30pm. At 8pm, (which I didn't know), the two other servers leave and she was left by herself. I felt bad for her because the place is opened until 11pm. I said to her last week, "Wow, they left you all by yourself?" This is her reply to me - "Why, you don't like me?" Now how in the world do you get that out of what I asked? Really, is it just me? My husband who was not in her sight starts to laugh. I replied to her, "That's not what I meant, what I meant was I felt bad that you were left by yourself." Oy!

Last night, we get there and this establishment works their servers on a "whoever comes in next you get them basis." They take turns. Lucky us. We got her again. We asked her for 2 Diet Cokes and 2 waters. We got the sodas but 2nd week in a row, she did not bring out water. She practically throws the plates down at you. We say "thank you" but she just walks away. Then after the meal she decides to get talkative and here is what we learned about her.

• She has a cold and whatever she took over the counter caused her a urinary tract infection all the while she is coughing into her hand. Thank God I got the flu shot when I left the hospital. My hubby got his too. Phew!
• She proceeds to share with us that she had 4 husbands; 3 she divorced and the 4th one died after he went to his "second stint" in rehab. The last husband's kids hate her because she let their father die. She told us she couldn't work and "babysit" his drug addiction at the same time
• She doesn't drive and she is a "dumb dumb" who has to go to the state to do her taxes because she can't do math but she can "count money because any dumb dumb can do that."
• She is mad at her son-in-law because he only knew two phrases once he married her daughter. 1) I Do, and 2) I Quit. He hasn't worked since he married her.
• She told me that her drug addict husband that died threw her dead cat away in the trash before she got home because it died in the house. (Now you all know the animal lover I am. I am cringing at this point...I literally asked her to stop telling me about it)
• She then begins to tell me about her new cat "Missykins" and how she has to do a living will so if something happens to her she needs Missykins to go to the right daughter.
• She shares with us how she hates to ride the bus with takes one to know one weirdos and that she is allergic to all their cologne. She said no one bathes on the bus, they just put too much cologne on.

Boy to think last week she thought I hated her. Now she thinks I am interested. All I wanted was a hot dog. I wonder sometimes if I wear a sign that says "Please tell me your whole life story." Why she thought to share all of this I will never know. All I know is this, I cannot sit with this woman anymore. God help us!!! I would have been better off going in there without any pants.