Happy Wednesday everyone! Several people thought I should post some of my assignments from the class I am taking. If any of you are interested, please let me know what you think. Be honest, I can take it! I need objective opinions. LOL! Also, if you can let me know if you think I should continue to post them.
This is an assignment that required me to write 2 paragraphs of the room I write in. Here it is:
The only noises I hear are my fingers swiftly hitting the keys, an Elvis Presley wall clock's second hand clicking for each second and a fish tank humming behind me. I can hear the koi picking up the small pebbles at the bottom of the tank searching for left over fragments of food. Yet with all the background noise, it is just so still. I'm at peace sitting in this noisy yet silent room. Alone I sit and look at the walls that surround me filled with media, memories, and promises. My eyes become fixated towards a beautiful black, metal, matted frame holding a picture of Marilyn Monroe. How alone she looks as she leans on the edge of a balcony staring down at a crowded, taxi-lined street in New York City. She has a lit cigarette in her hand and her eyes are empty. What was she thinking at the moment that photo was taken? What was she feeling inside her soul as her cigarette turned to ash?
Next, I turn and see my long haired, black and white cat lie sleeping on our oak coffee table. How soundly he sleeps. I can see him breathing. His body moves with each breath synchronized with each click of the second hand on the wall clock. What is he dreaming about at this moment? I begin to be thankful for this noisy yet still room, where all my thoughts can come out onto these keys and be released from my mind. The stillness sustains me but the words never seem to cease.
This is an assignment that required me to write 2 paragraphs of the room I write in. Here it is:
"The Room Where I Write"
The only noises I hear are my fingers swiftly hitting the keys, an Elvis Presley wall clock's second hand clicking for each second and a fish tank humming behind me. I can hear the koi picking up the small pebbles at the bottom of the tank searching for left over fragments of food. Yet with all the background noise, it is just so still. I'm at peace sitting in this noisy yet silent room. Alone I sit and look at the walls that surround me filled with media, memories, and promises. My eyes become fixated towards a beautiful black, metal, matted frame holding a picture of Marilyn Monroe. How alone she looks as she leans on the edge of a balcony staring down at a crowded, taxi-lined street in New York City. She has a lit cigarette in her hand and her eyes are empty. What was she thinking at the moment that photo was taken? What was she feeling inside her soul as her cigarette turned to ash?
Next, I turn and see my long haired, black and white cat lie sleeping on our oak coffee table. How soundly he sleeps. I can see him breathing. His body moves with each breath synchronized with each click of the second hand on the wall clock. What is he dreaming about at this moment? I begin to be thankful for this noisy yet still room, where all my thoughts can come out onto these keys and be released from my mind. The stillness sustains me but the words never seem to cease.
7 comments:
AWESOME! You are a natural!
Sue - THANK YOU! You are awesome!
I think you have talent. And I like your writing as well... ;)
Bud - Thank you SO much! ;)
Jodi, I like this piece! I get a sense not only of the room but of you. Your writing is full of details and specifics, yet is not bogged down by them. The pace is good.
I liked this: "The only noises I hear are my fingers swiftly hitting the keys, an Elvis Presley wall clock's second hand clicking, and a fish tank humming behind me."
Consider using that as your first sentence. Also consider ignoring my suggestion!! :)
Keep on writing!!!!
SBW - THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!! That is great advice and I did take it. I thought I was too wordy in the beginning. The first two sentences were really unnecessary. It looks good that way. I revised it on the blog. Thanks again, I will definitely keep on writing, it is my passion. My teacher says the only time you fail at writing is when you stop. Both you & my friend Scribers Web give terrific advice and I am eternally grateful.
You too - keep on writing! :) I love your writing.
First of all... Yeah I have internet connection this weekend! I can finally catch up on my favorite blogs!
I like the simple blog writer's suggestion. Less is more.
Can't wait to read your next assignment! Have a great weekend my friend!
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